Thursday, August 08, 2013

Sharks In A Blender


Sharknado is one of the worst movies I have ever seen regarding plot structure, integrity of suspense, and characterization, but my fifteen year old and I LOVED it.  My wife, who was pretending to ignore us and our questionable taste in movies, even laughed a few times.  Sharknado is just so bad it’s great.  Can’t wait for the sequel.

This SyFy Channel original movie conceit that is at the core of the action is that sharks – ALL kinds of sharks, mind you – have gotten swept up in a monstrous hurricane (Sharkicane obviously doesn’t sound as cool as Sharknado) and drop onto the unsuspecting populace of Los Angeles.  Now, to accept that, you have to check all knowledge of meteorology at the door and ignore California’s history.  One, it would be classified as a hurricane coming in off the ocean, and two, there have never been any hurricanes that hit California.  They call it the “Pacific” Ocean because it’s so calm – except for those tsunamis that hit Japan, India, etc.  But that’s on the other side of the ocean.

The collection of characters is the usual ensemble.  The divorced father who has to go rescue his kids, who are rebellious snot rags in the beginning but become massively talented at battle sharks before the end of the movie.  Then there’s the best friend who gives his life fighting for our hero.  The young girl who’s maybe in love with our hero even though he’s twenty years older.  One of my favorite characters was John Heard, a millionaire drunk who carries his bar stool with him to fight the sharks with – until he meets his glorious demise.

Of course, one of these movies just wouldn’t be complete without obligatory other rescues that get in the way of the hero getting to his kids.  The school bus rescue would have taken WAAAY too much time, and you can’t help but notice that there isn’t any rain or aerial-borne water sluicing over our champions.

In fact, the whole movie gets way too dry at times.  I kept noticing those things, how it went from water running white caps in the street, yet there wasn’t a cloud in the sky so often.  My son and I kept pointing that out to each other, and I can see that maybe becoming part of a college drinking game – do a shot every time the weather changes.

Despite its many, MANY flaws, my son and I (and my wife to a degree), enjoyed Sharknado.  It’s not art, it’s not even a decent story, but it is a much-needed exercise in total hilarity – even if it isn’t supposed to be.

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