Adventures In Writing

Retcon: The Last Act of Desperation!

Some of you may be aware of the changes going on in Spider-Man's hectic world. In addition to the 3rd movie not being as good or as straightforward as the first two, he's now had his comics world turned inside out and upside down.

It seems that Aunt May's life was on the line (I can't remember how many times that one's been used) and Peter had to make a deal with the devil. Literally. In return for saving Aunt May's life, the devil wanted the thing most dear to Peter: his marriage. (And if that was so, wouldn't he have let Aunt May die?) The devil tells him and MJ that very seldom does a love so true come about. (And isn't that an indication that things will be all right? Not to mention that Spider-Girl is descended from the two of them and her adventures are continuing?)

Anyway, that change has been made. Peter and MJ never got married. Peter never revealed his secret identity to the world in Civil War. Harry Osborn never died (so is he still the Green Goblin 2? Was he ever the Green Goblin 2?). Other changes continue to be discovered.

Fans everywhere are ticked. They'll put up with lame or boring stories, but don't dare jack with their continuity.

A friend of mine sent me this email regarding his comics-buying experience this week now that the first issue of the new arc has dropped:

I'd avoid any comic stores today. It's the first day of the New Amazing Spider-Man stuff, post Deal with the Devil, and from what I've seen, it's not been pretty in the stores.

When I asked my retailer how Spider-Man was going today, fear welled up in his eyes. He grabbed me by the shoulders and leaned in close to my ear to whisper, "It's not going so well. We don't say his name here anymore."

"Whose name? Spider--"

"Sssssshhh!" He violently cut me off and continued to speak into my ear in hushed tones. "Yes. Keep it down, DC Boy. You don't want the Nerds to hear you. They want Creator's Blood, and any comics creator they come across will appease them and their Dark Gods."

He let go of me, flashing a smile at the line of customers behind me to let them know everything was okay, that I was one of them, a Nerd, and not one of those foul Comic Book Creators that had betrayed their trust.

I bought my comics and ran out of the store, doing my best to avoid eye contact with any of the other Nerds and praying to the Heavens they couldn't smell the thin sheet of fearful sweat that had developed under my shirt. Kinda freaked me out. So, if I were you, I'd stay out of the stores today.

Creepy, huh? Reminds me of the time Marvel Comics tried to give us the Spider-Man clone as the real Spider-Man.

And now that Spider-Man has done a deal with the devil, where's Daniel Webster when you need him? Better yet, where's Matt Murdock?